Nail update:

Barry M #317 Blue Moon & Deborah Lippmann Glitter in the Air.


- Holly

A few photos from my teeny new bedroom.  In the frames are my dream babes Gaga & Kanye.

In a few days time it'll be a whole month since I've been here.  Living at home been an enormous change for me and although I was dreading it, as so many people told me, it's been absolutely fine.  Of course there have been a few teething problems (mainly me being a brat like no-one has ever experienced before) and I obviously miss all the people I care about, but honestly it feels like I'm still visiting.  I'm not upset and I'm not stressed out, I'm very level headed and focussed on what I'm doing.


College is probably the thing that's been the most difficult to adjust to.  Firstly, I feel really strange not getting up every day and getting ready for another day in the shop.  Being in a classroom from 9-5 is very different to working those hours and I'm so much more motivated even though I'm getting up at least an hour earlier.  I take care over my hair and make-up, I make an effort to do my nails and put on jewellery and I relish wearing heels every day as it's no longer a chore.  Secondly I feel like I'm the oldest person in my class, I genuinely heard a girl lamenting her 19th birthday last week!  I found out this week that I'm actually not the oldest, but I'm definitely the shyest - it's taken me until week four to actually speak without being spoken to, I'm slowly gaining confidence in my work and in myself and I might take my headphones out in class one of these days!

I spend all my money on art supplies, all my spare time doing work that I haven't done in class - it takes me practically ten times as long to complete a task as anyone else - and I feel like I've changed slightly.  I've had alcohol one night in almost four weeks (and it was so worth it, such a dreamy night out with my bezzie) and I don't binge eat.  I go to bed at a semi reasonable time and I never sleep late. And I managed to get a job. I seem to have finally grasped the concept of moderation but we'll see how long this new, sensible, resolve lasts for...!

- Holly

Listening: Don't Worry Baby - The Beach Boys. I'm the kind of cringy girl who tumblr was made for; if I were prettier/thinner/had an enviable mane of (my own) hair I'd be constantly reblogged in sepia tinted photos, looking wistful, splashed with these lyrics written in Helvetica.  I just find it incredibly soothing and always take comfort in it during both small stresses, like rush hour traffic, and when I'm really upset.  I've also been listening to Sorry 4 the Wait - Lil Wayne and I Can Hear Your Feet - Childish Gambino purely because the tempo is ideal for my brisk walk from the train station to college in the mornings.
Watching: I've fallen back into the horrible habit of locking myself in my bedroom watching Come Dine with Me interspersed with videos of the result of my favourite Google search of the moment: "Kanye West drunk".  When I haven't been holed up in my tiny pink bedroom, hunched over piles of magazines, I've been watching Cupcake Wars and Extreme Couponing - I genuinely don't know how I lived without Sky for 3 years. These programmes both seem as though tailor-made for me and conveniently started new seasons as I returned to a world with more than ten (watchable) channels.
Reading: An excessive amount about designer Bill Gibb and slightly a less excessive amount about LFW.  My only other reading material is my class timetable that I read about a hundred times a day, mostly just so I look as though I have something to do or somewhere important to be.

Wearing:  I've somewhat successfully reinvented myself as a girl who wears heels every day and in my first 2 weeks of college I wore heels 5/6 days.  The one day I didn't wear heels resulted in the most painful blisters I've ever experience and were caused by shoes I've always known never suited me but decided to try out anyway.  I tell all the girls in my class (who actually talk to me) that I find heels more comfortable than flats and wear them because I need the height.  It's such a lie; I wear them to be a super babe and be Ultimate and although admittedly I don't really get sore feet, who can really be bothered with the hassle of wearing vertiginous shoes day to day?!  I've also been dousing myself in Black Orchid which was thoughtfully purchased for me by my work colleagues when I left last month.

Wanting: a job, to not be the slowest worker in my class and someone to be my personal cutting out assistant.

Eating:  Not really a great deal of anything thankfully; I live on almonds, coffee and the occasional Red Bull and my dad cooks me super healthy dinners in the evenings.  That said, Heather and I had a moment of post-alcohol weakness last Saturday morning and ate Quavers in bed.

Buying:  NOlitas/FAUXlitas in black - waiting for their arrival and hoping that they are as comfortable as my glitter litas which made their college debut far too early in hindsight. These will help keep the Ultimate dream alive and stop me reverting to these or, heaven forbid,  these.

Dreaming of:  Alligator Boots to be picked up for an entire season.  Recently linked to me on twitter by my bezzer, it combines my absolute dream beau Kanye West and puppets with lots of swearing and it looks like it would be the best thing ever!

- Holly

Buysies:

Just got paid and I'm going to repurchase some old favourites I've almost ran out of and try out some new things - clearly all back-to-school essentials...  I should probably buy a pencil case or something too.

-Holly

Days this week have been spent with my hair scraped back in an unflattering ponytail, baking to make people like me and smoking furiously.  I've spent plenty of time in bed listening to music, watching unintelligent movies and pointless documentaries and stalking erstwhile friends.  In the evenings I've either lazed on the couch with cups of tea, or stumbled from bar to bar between glasses of Bombay and soda water. All blatant avoidance tactics.

I'm procrastinating packing to a ridiculous degree right now; I know it doesn't really seem like such a big deal since I've got a whole week to get all my things together, but I actually own so much rubbish.  What person, let alone a girl who claims to love fashion, needs 30 fake tan stained t-shirts in various discolouring shades of white?!  I've got hundreds of balled up pieces of till roll with notes I've written to myself at work stashed in my bedside table, clothing tags that I thought were particularly pretty and more glitter, sequins and rhinestones than is probably appropriate for someone who was in full-time employment and trying to act like an adult.  I'll admit it - I'm a hoarder.

I'm going to get my act together tomorrow.  I'm going to become ruthless and although it'll pain me to do so, I'm going to throw out anything I haven't worn in the past 6 months.  I'm anticipating that this will be around half my wardrobe as most of my clothes are leftovers from when I was thin.  I'm going to be following the new One-In One-Out policy my best friend has recently devised in an attempt to create a capsule wardrobe which will evolve as I do into an Ultimate Girl*.

- Holly

*more on the concept of the "Ultimate" to come in the future, but for now I'll just let you know that she is definitely not anything like Carrie Bradshaw.  I'm currently watching the Sex and the City movie and I can't understand why women fawn over her like she's some sort of an icon for a generation - she's not.  She's a needy, selfish brat with deplorable taste in clothing and men and I despise her and her friends.