Monday, 7 March 2011

I lack focus and drive in my life, but it's not through absence of ambition - if anything I am too ambitious.  I want to be the best at everything, I want to experience every career that I've ever expressed any degree of interest in and I don't want to waste my life doing something only to realise it was all wrong for me.  I can't stand the idea of having a mediocre life and not making something of myself.

The first thing I ever wanted to do was be a vet (which is now hilarious considering the mutual hatred between animals and I) and like everything else I become interested in, I was obsessed.  I would be allowed to stay up until 7:30PM on a Monday evening to watch Animal Hospital with all my toys lined up beside me.  I had a stuffed animal which was particularly creepy; you could make an injury appear by dabbing particular parts of its body with water and then bandage it up with velcro plasters.    Like most of my fixations though, this was fleeting and quickly replaced with many more dreams and all the necessary accessories and accoutrements that went alongside them.

Concert pianist, children's TV presenter, pop star, opera singer, foreign correspondent, doctor, lawyer, dentist, fashion designer...  The list could go on forever, there is almost nothing I can think of that I haven't decided was all I wanted to do at one point or another.  In recent years I have gone from studying to be a powerful business woman to working in a shoe shop - it's hardly the Cinderella story I had dreamed of.  I know I have the urge to do something creative and, ruling out the possibilities of hairdresser and make-up artist, I decided to go back to college and study fashion.  I'll hopefully get to university at some point and maybe I'll get a degree by the time I'm about forty!

If everything fails, I'll fall back on the idea of becoming Tom Ford's muse or specialising in providing blinged out nails to the stars.

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